Infidelities

[Malmsteen]

Well, if there are well-founded suspicions. I left the mail open one day and well…... curiosity killed the cat, you know....... I don't want to do anything illegal, but I'm worried that this will reach more people. You know, cybersex, hot chats and that this could end up with him for physical contact. I already know that it can be illegal, but damn, I'm worried that our relationship will go to hell for a one-night stand. Obviously I have made him aware of my suspicions without telling him that he left his mail open and I could see some mail...... let's say compromised, but he tells me that I am sick and that I have gone crazy when in reality I have seen how he was meeting him at a specific time to chat on msn. And you know, that if darling, that if my life, that if my little one........ in short, that things are fucked up. I don't know what gives me more pain, if telling you this or that he is giving it to me with another.

Regards.

[Bm4n]

I would tell you what you saw, and to explain yourself, if he tells you the truth then fine, but if not then you will have to come to terms with it. Spying on him will probably not fix anything, and in the event that you manage to get him into a tight spot, what do you think it would be good for?

[Sylver]

@Malmsteen:

Well, if there are well-founded suspicions. I left the mail open one day and well…... curiosity killed the cat, you know....... I don't want to do anything illegal, but I'm worried that this will reach more. You know, cybersex, hot chats and that this could end up with him for physical contact. I already know that it may be illegal, but damn, I'm worried that our relationship will go to hell for a one-night stand. Obviously I have let him know of my suspicions without telling him that he left his mail open and I could see some mail...... let's say compromised, but he tells me that I'm sick and that I've gone crazy when in reality I've seen how he was meeting him at a specific time to chat on msn. And you know, that if darling, that if my life, that if my little one........ in short, things are fucked up. I don't know what gives me more of a hard time, if telling you this or that he's giving it to me with another.

Regards.

Comrade I am very sorry that you are going through this situation and you have my full support in this forum.
I put myself in your shoes and my bad mood increases just by imagining that happening to me…
I would without hesitation go to fieldwork. Even being unemployed you can always bribe/recruit someone from your wife's work environment to spy on you, pay a low price for the files you need as proof, for sporadic glances, or even to get access to the computer she uses at work, it's all about talking it over and not saying figures until the end of the conversation. At worst, you can investigate forums or if someone around here privately tells you methods to tap her computer (keyloggers, trojans...) make your own "mole" from her workplace be the one to install everything on the target computer.
I don't know if I have stepped on and/or exceeded the line of danger/illegality at any point with my words, if so, fellow moderators and/or Mr. admin Packo do the same with them or notify me to proceed in a timely manner with the editing/deletion myself.

Comrade, much courage, much luck, and in any case I sincerely wish that everything ends as well as possible for you and for your relationship. Support from here.

Regards

[Malmsteen]

Thanks silver. I assure you that nothing good is happening. I also encourage the moderators that if illegality is spoken or touched upon here that they delete the entire post. It's not my intention, I'm just a bit desperate and I fear that talking about it doesn't solve anything. With evidence in hand it would be different, but... well, I've already tried and as I've already told you things didn't look very good.

Regards.

[Sylver]

That said, try to get a "mole" in the workplace, it's all about talking and making friends.
Good luck, regards.

[Tecnho]

No one likes to be deceived, but talking is the best way to understand people, nothing lasts forever and doing things behind someone's back can only get worse, my advice is that you accept whatever it is and take it with the greatest philosophy possible and talk about it face to face like sensible people.
But of course, each person is a world unto themselves.

[Nemo]

Considering what you feel for her, "unmasking her" will do little good... only to lose her.
Go on the counterattack, reinvent yourself, convince her that she has the best at home, give her everything she needs to be happy. If it really works it will be worth it, if not you will have to consider the relationship over, unless you don't want to go through times of unhappiness and bad vibes.

Best regards and lots of courage.

[Sylver]

@Nemo:

Considering what you feel for her, "unmasking her" will do little good... only to lose her.
Go on the counterattack, reinvent yourself, convince her that she has the best at home, give her everything she needs to be happy. If it really works it will be worth it, if not you will have to consider the relationship over, unless you don't want to go through times of unhappiness and bad vibes.

Best regards and lots of courage.

You are actually completely right Nemo. I totally agree with you, although I started by saying that you got a "mole", this option would be even better.

Regards

[CNCBCN]

leaving aside the "legal" aspect, if you use a normal email account, you have the option to try to log in to it (since you don't know the password, you have the option to have it ask you the "standard question" and since it's your wife, you may know the answer)

[kynes]

@Nemo:

Considering what you feel for her, "unmasking" her will do little good... only to lose her.
Go on the counterattack, reinvent yourself, convince her that she has the best at home, give her everything she needs to be happy. If it really works it will be worth it, if not you will have to consider the relationship over, unless you don't want to go through times of unhappiness and bad times.

Best regards and lots of courage.

I sincerely believe that this is the best advice that can be given in these cases. Getting proof only serves to hold it against him, and that, in my view, does not serve to improve personal relationships.

[_Neptunno_]

@kynes:

I honestly think that's the best advice you can give in these cases. Getting proof only serves to hold it against them, and that, in my opinion, doesn't help improve personal relationships.

I agree with Nemo and Kynes, it's better to win the girl back than to fight with useless arguments.

Regards!!

P.D: Kynes, sorry for editing your post, I wanted to quote you and I didn't realize it :lol: